


I Wish To See the Lost In Me

by FanFareScribe



Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Anxiety, Character Study, Don’t copy to another site, Fluff, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Head trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Love, No power on Thra can break their bond, Other, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Protective UrGoh, Recreational Drug Use, Very loosely canon compliant, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 07:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21194099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFareScribe/pseuds/FanFareScribe
Summary: SkekGra's memories come back to haunt him as he works on the puppet show. UrGoh must remind him that he's never alone, for they are one.





	I Wish To See the Lost In Me

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags, please. It started off as a simple desire to write hurt/comfort for these two. And then it got really intense. 
> 
> Constructive Criticism is always a pleasure. 
> 
> Title comes from I Want My Tears Back by Nightwish. Not sure if it fits, I just couldn't think of another title. And I'm tired.

SkekGra finds himself pacing the Circle of Suns, feeling a bit antsy. He can feel the boredom creeping in on him. It’s been ten trine or so since he and his UrRu counterpart, UrGoh the Wanderer, went into exile and made it to this unreachable mountain, making it their home. The Heretic looks at his UrRu and smiles, seeing him sleep peacefully, snoring slowly, but loudly. He’s learned to tune it out. In fact, he’s learned to grow quickly used to his habits, despite his never-ending impatience.

The Heretic looks at the crafting area and smiles. Perhaps working on the puppet show will ease his boredom. He walks over to the rug, scattered with various crafting materials, such as clay, paints, and cloth. SkekGra picks up string and thin wood and gets to work.

SkekGra thinks on what to do with it, when he realizes a way to handle a certain part of the show! He could put up a cloth and show the Skeksis and the UrRu through silhouettes! He snickers at his ingenuity. He starts drawing a baseline on how he wants the Skeksis to look. Imposing, threatening, intimidating, skeletal, commandeering…

SkekGra finds himself slowing down on the crafting as intrusive thoughts came to him. The nail in his head is throbbing painfully, he starts to whimper in pain. He doesn’t feel like he’s home anymore…

_“WHAT IS HE SAYING?!”_

_“DISGUSTING!”_

_“HE’S GONE MAD!”_

_The shrill screech of the Skeksis echo in the throne room and ring in his head. He can feel his insides grow cold at the accusations. He takes a step forward anyways. “I know it sounds frightening, but Thra has given me a vision! If we could just reunite with our UrRu counterpar…” _  
  
_ “ENOUGH!!” The Emperor bellows, banging his scepter on the ground. “What you speak of is HERESY!! WE ARE ETERNAL!! Reuniting, becoming Urskek again, will take away what we have become! What we made ourselves to be! We will lose ourselves!”_

_The crowd continues to scrutinize and shout at him, making SkekGra feel smaller and smaller, though he refuses to show it. The Scientist, Gourmand, Scroll-Keeper, Collector, and the Ornamentalist all look flabbergasted, afraid even. The Ritual Master looks disgusted at mere thought of it, and is looking at the pathetic excuse for a Conqueror with disappointment. The brutish General is filled to the brim with rage and if not for the Chamberlain’s halting hand in front of him, he would probably strike him where he stands. Speaking of the Chamberlain, he may be holding back the attack, but it’s clear that he finds this show absolutely amusing, he’s grinning like a serpent eyeing his prey._

_“You will be punished for this!!” The livid Emperor shouts. SkekGra isn’t sure if his anger is genuine anger or masking the fear in his dark heart._

_“My loooord!” SkekSil the Chamberlain interrupts with a bow, but that snide grin never leaving his face. “Perhaps this… outburst is just friend Conqueror lacking the rest he so… wonderfully deserved, hmmm? All of the pillaging, all of the slaughtering to gain our control of the land. Perhaps this hallucination is merely…stress, hmmmm? Maybe after a few days rest, if he can prove himself to us by conquering more lands then---"_

_“I WILL NOT!” SkekGra involuntarily shouts. The combination of the Chamberlain’s sniveling voice and the implications that he goes back to killing to gain the Emperor’s favor again, riled him up. The whole room is silent, even the Chamberlain looks surprised. “I refuse to kill again when a better solution for all of us, is right in front of us! We fuse back to our UrSkek selves and---”_

_“I. HAVE HEARD. ENOUGH!!!” SkekSo screams, causing everyone, including the General and Chamberlain to flinch away. “I WILL NOT LISTEN TO THE BABBLING OF A HERETIC! STRIP HIM AND HOLD HIM DOWN!! SCIENTIST! Go get the hammer and the nail!”_

_SkekGra barely has time to react before his clothes are ripped off while shrill laughter blasts his eardrums. “Put a blindfold on him, to prevent his visions,” The Emperor crones mockingly. As his eyes are obscured, both of his arms are forced behind his back and he’s forcibly bowed to the ground._

_SkekGra’s fear spikes when he hears the Scientist approach, presumably holding the hammer and the nail. He struggles and tries to pull away, to no avail. “NO! NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!” But his pleas fall on deaf ears. The usual Punishment Speech that the Skeksis chant is ignored, in exchange for the crowd chanting “HERETIC! HERETIC! HERETIC!” His cries grow louder and his fear seeps deep, but SkekGra still feels the nail rest on his head._

_A fierce pain comes with a loud CLANG as the nail is suddenly pierced into his head, blood cascades down, soaking up the blindfold. A screech louder than ever reverberates through the castle, coming from SkekGra. He’s hoisted up and he feels himself dragged through the castle, his now frail body hanging limp. He feels himself forced outside and thrown to the ground. He shakingly removes the blindfold and looks behind him to see the General and the Ritual-Master. His eyes squint through the clotting blood._

_“SkekGra the Heretic! You are hereby sent into exile. No longer are you considered of the Crystal.” The Ritual Master looks disappointed as he says these words. With one last look, he turns heel and walks back inside the castle, the General trodding behind him as he sneers at him._

_The former Conquerer shakingly stands up and starts to run. He trips and falls more times than he can count, but he continues onwards anyways. All he could think of is finding his UrRu, while the voices echo in his head, “HERETIC! HERETIC! HERETIC!”_

“SkekGra! SkekGra!”

SkekGra feels himself being pulled out his thoughts as UrGoh has his arms on his shoulders, gently shaking him. He feels confused. How did he find him? “U-UrGoh?”

“SkekGra… We are… Far from the Castle of the Crystal… We are home… In the Circle of Suns…”  
  
“H-Home…?” SkekGra looks around and realizes he was right. He can feel that he is sweating and the pain is still throbbing in his head. His voice is hoarse, he must have been screaming. “Home…” The shaken Skeksis brings his arms up and wraps them around is counterpart, who slowly returns the hug, comfortingly. “Home.”  
  
“Home… Let’s…Sit down…Shall we…?” UrGoh gently leads him away from the crafting area, which is in disarray, and sets him down on some of their pillows. The familiar gentleness of UrGoh’s touch is bringing him back to reality more and more. UrGoh offers the pipe to his hookah, which SkekGra accepts. He puffs a few clouds of smoke and feels himself relax further. UrGoh asks for permission to sit next to him, and when SkekGra accepts, he slowly sits down and wraps his tail around the Heretic. He takes a few puffs from the Hookah as well, as he leans into SkekGra, so comforting and warm. “Is this….Okay…?” The Mystic asks. SkekGra nods, grateful for the UrRu’s consideration.

They spend a few moments in silence, when SkekGra finally speaks.

“They’re afraid… They’re afraid of merging back together. They say that they have become so much more than the UrSeks could ever be.”

UrGoh says nothing, but keeps his eyes on him and hums, letting him know that he is indeed listening.

“Sometimes I wonder if it is true. If we do reform, will we disappear? Will we lose the aspects we have made for ourselves?”

“… I don’t… Believe so… We might just… be even more…when we do reform…” UrGoh says.

“Speak more coherently, you old coot.” SkekGra quips.

“We’ve both gone through experiences… We’ve learned… We’ve evolved… What the UrRu and the Skeksis fail to understand… We do…”

SkekGra looks at UrGoh and feels a pang of sadness from his other half. He knows that the UrRu rejected him, rather coldly, as opposed to try to listen to him. They just… Turned and walked away. Refused to acknowledge him. Refused to give them their reasoning.

“…We’ve both…. Changed in ways that… the Skeksis and UrRu haven’t… Our experiences… Our desires… Our love…” The arm wrapped around SkekGra tightens slightly, but not unwantedly. “…When we become one again…We will be far more fulfilled…And stronger…Than ever before…” UrGoh nuzzles his snout on SkekGra’s cheek. “Perhaps… They will too realize… How fulfilled they feel… When they reform as well…”

SkekGra puts down the pipe and wraps his arms around UrGoh. “I want it to happen soon! I can’t stand this feeling that I have lost something!”

UrGoh wraps the rest of his arms around him as well. “We…Will… Patience… We will never leave each other… Our companionship… Makes us one.”

SkekGra continues to hug him for a bit. He slowly returns to where he’s sitting and sighs. He chooses to not continue smoking.

After a few moments of silence, he decides to start to talk about his plan for the puppet show. As he feels more at peace, he starts chatting more and more, as UrGoh listens intently.

“Do you think the Gelflings will like me? I am a Skeksis, they will not trust me right away.”

“…They will… Like you... You’re… The fun one.” UrGoh simply responds.

SkekGra laughs happily at the response. “I am, aren’t I??” He doesn’t notice UrGoh’s fond smile. He stands and starts pacing. “Perhaps we should talk about…”

The Heretic talks and talks and talks until the sun sets down upon them, when they both start to get really sleepy. UrGoh curls up around SkekGra, slowly falling into deep slumber, as SkekGra looks upon the moon peaking in on them. He puts his hand on the UrRu’s head as he closes his eyes. Right. Together then…

**Author's Note:**

> So I always found it confusing why they throw them into exile, instead of outright killing them. I read somewhere that it may stem from their fear of dying and do not want others to see them die. Plus I believe that the Chamberlain mentioned somewhere that they have a "no killing Skeksis rule." (Not that it stops him)
> 
> And try as I might, I couldn't find a place to put the fact that SkekGra at some point in time took the piece of the Crystal of Truth and put it in the glaive. The idea in my head is that while SkekGra and UrGoh were conspiring to try to convince the others, he took the Crystal and gave it to UrGoh, in case it all goes pearshaped. Which it did. 
> 
> Also why does Chamberlain advocate for him getting rest? He’s attempting to gaslight. Not to mention he could manipulate Skekgra into thinking he cares. And if he accepts he’d have to live with the humiliation of what he said to Emperor. But Skegra’s wise to SkekSil’s tricks. And he’s made up his mind.
> 
> Come bother me! I am FanFareKid on Tumblr!


End file.
